The Avengers Go to Gotham
by esteed
Summary: Steed becomes jealous, Batman falls in love, Robin feels left out, and Emma saves the day. R/R!! Final chapter now up!
1. Chapter One

It was another gray, dreary morning in England. The alarm rang. Mrs. Peel yawned and rolled over. She rubbed her bleary eyes and sat up. "Mmph," she muttered to herself before reaching over and turning the alarm off. Why in the world did Steed want a meeting at this hour? "Oh well," she sighed, and got up and began getting ready.  
  
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Twenty minutes later, Mrs. Peel waltzed out of her apartment building looking stunning in a pale blue sundress. Steed was waiting at the curb in his dark green vintage Bentley.  
  
"Hop in, Mrs. Peel," Steed said cheerfully, "We have some new clues."  
  
"Let me see," Mrs. Peel replied. Steed handed over two slips of white paper.  
  
"These were slipped under my apartment door this morning."  
  
"Who wears all black and yet is all white?" Mrs. Peel read aloud. "And, 'When do most pepole wake up?' More riddles, Steed?"  
  
"Yes, it seems to be this criminal mastermind's calling card," Steed replied. "Now, can you figure out what these mean?"  
  
"Well," Mrs. Peel began, "people who dress in black are called Goths, and their skin is all white. As for the second one, most people awake in the morning."  
  
"Goth-morning?" Steed teased.  
  
"Steed," Mrs. Peel interrupted, "morning is also known as a.m. Goth- a.m."  
  
"Gotham. Gotham City!" Steed shouted. The car shot out into traffic, narrowly missing a red sports car, and raced down the street.  
  
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Meanwhile, in Gotham City, it was another beautiful day. Multi- millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson were playing a chess game at stately Wayne Manor.  
  
"Gosh Bruce, "Dick said dejectedly, "You just about have me beat."  
  
"Excuse me Master Dick, but," at that moment, Alfred, the Wayne family butler, leaned in closer, "the bat-phone."  
  
"Come on Dick," Bruce ordered. They rushed into the study. "Hello Commissioner," Bruce said, picking up the phone, "We'll be right there." Dick pushed the bust of Shakespeare back and turned the dial hidden within. "To the bat-poles," Bruce said. He and Dick rushed to the poles hidden in the wall behind the bookcase. The bookcase slid shut behind them. When they reached the bottom, they were dressed as Batman and Robin. Both rushed to the bat-mobile and sped off.  
  
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The bat-mobile screeched to a stop outside City Hall. Batman and Robin leaped out and rushed inside. As they ran into the Commissioner's Office, the dynamic duo stopped short. An unfamiliar, yet beautiful woman, and her impeccably dressed companion were seated in the chairs in front of the Commissioner's desk. The woman turned around. "You must be Batman and Robin," she said in a lovely British accent.  
  
"And you are," Batman began, taken aback by the woman's obvious beauty.  
  
"Mrs. Emma Peel. You can call me Mrs. Peel. And this is my partner, Mr. John Steed." Mrs. Peel gestured to the man sitting beside her. He'd turned around without Batman noticing.  
  
"Uh, Batman," Commissioner Gordon began, "Mrs. Peel and Mr. Steed are here from England, because the Riddler was terrorizing their country. He sent them two riddles which led them here."  
  
"May I see," Batman asked, holding his hand out.  
  
"Certainly," Steed replied. He reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out the slips of paper.  
  
"Yes, I can see how these led you here," Batman stated. "Well, it looks like we're partners." Batman handed the papers to Robin, who began examining them.  
  
"Holy invisible ink, Batman," Robin exclaimed! "There's something written on the other side."  
  
"Another riddle," Mrs. Peel asked.  
  
"Perhaps," Batman replied. "We'll need to go to the bat-cave."  
  
"Well, Mrs. Peel stood up, "We'll follow you in Steed's car."  
  
"I'm afraid that's impossible," Batman replied.  
  
"You see Mrs. Peel," Robin interrupted, "Should anyone know the location of the bat-cave, they could pierce the secret of our true identities."  
  
"If you want to come, we'll need to give you bat knock-out gas. It's a harmless anesthetic."  
  
Mrs. Peel and Steed looked at each other and nodded. Batman and Robin seeing this turned and walked out. Mrs. Peel and Steed followed.  
  
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Robin and Batman opened the doors of the bat-mobile and motioned for Steed and Mrs. Peel to get situated inside.  
  
"We'll wake you up when we get to the bat-cave," Batman stated. He then sprayed them with bat knock-out gas.  
  
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The bat-mobile sped down the road.  
  
"Gosh Batman," Robin complained, "it sure is crowded in here."  
  
"Indeed Robin."  
  
As the bat-mobile went around the next curve, Steed rolled over, and began drooling on Batman's cape. Batman grunted, and impatiently pushed Steed away. 


	2. A Fiendish Plot?

The bat-mobile moved smoothly into it's place in the bat-cave. Robin leaped out of his seat, and Batman reached into his utility belt. He pulled out his bat-wake gas, and gave Mrs. Peel and Steed a spurt. Batman opened his door, and got out.  
  
"So, this is the bat-cave," Mrs. Peel stated.  
  
"Indeed, Mrs. Peel," Batman replied. "Robin, warm up the bat- invisible ink scanner." Robin ran to do this. Batman, Mrs. Peel, and Steed walked over to the device. Mrs. Peel and Steed watched as Batman held up his bat-noculars. "Interesting," Batman remarked. "It's just as I thought. Have a look." Batman handed the bat-noculars to Steed.  
  
"Two more riddles, Mrs. Peel," Steed exclaimed. Mrs. Peel took the bat-noculars and looked. She read aloud, "what is gray and white and carries an umbrella?"  
  
"An Englishman," Robin exclaimed.  
  
"Correct Robin," Batman replied approvingly. "What is the next riddle, Mrs. Peel?"  
  
"Where do you sleep, not in your bed?"  
  
"A hotel," Steed shot a look of triumph at the Boy Wonder.  
  
"Does this mean what I think it means," Robin asked.  
  
"Precisely, Robin, an English person who is staying at a hotel will be in danger." Simultaneously Batman and Robin looked at Mrs. Peel and Steed.  
  
"Holy death thread," Robin exclaimed.  
  
"Robin is right," Batman addressed Mrs. Peel and Steed. "You need to find a new place to stay. The Riddler could be out to hurt you, and you don't have secret identities like us to protect you.  
  
"Where," Mrs. Peel demanded. "We don't know anyone in this town."  
  
"Let me take care of that," Batman answered. "If you'll both get in the bat-mobile, I'll take you somewhere safe. Batman again sprayed the Bat-sleep gas. "robin," Batman addressed his young friend. "Call the Commissioner and tell him of the death threats. Recommend that he call Mr. Bruce Wayne. Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel can stay at stately Wayne Manor. Robin hurried to obey his orders. 


	3. International Relations?

Mrs. Peel opened her eyes. "Where are we?" She thought to herself. Suddenly, everything came flooding back. The trip to Gotham City, the bat- cave, and the death threat. She looked around. Robin was sitting in the driver's seat of the bat-mobile, smiling.  
  
"This is the house of multi-millionaire Bruce Wayne. He's agreed to let you stay until the Riddler is captured. Mr. Steed has already gone inside."  
  
Mrs. Peel nodded her thanks and walked into the entrance hall.  
  
"Mrs. Peel," Alfred asked.  
  
She nodded. "Master Wayne and Mr. Steed are through that door in the living room. Might I get you anything, a cup of tea, perhaps?"  
  
I'd love one," Mrs. Peel replied, not mentioning that her drink of choice was champagne."  
  
"I'll get it immediately." Alfred seemed to melt into the shadows. Mrs. Peel walked through the doorway and found Steed and Bruce Wayne engrossed in conversation. Hesitating, Mrs. Peel cleared her throat. Bruce Wayne immediately looked up and walked over to her.  
  
"Mrs. Peel, I presume," he said in his most charming voice.  
  
Mrs. Peel smiled and held her hand out. Bruce kissed it. Inside Steed was fuming. Didn't this Wayne fellow know that it was improper to flirt with a married woman? He conveniently overlooked that fact that he flirted with Mrs. Peel on a regular basis.  
  
"I would like to thank you, Mr. Wayne, for allowing us to stay in your home during our visit to the United States."  
  
"Please call me Bruce," he replied, "Really it's nothing. It's a great honor to have you staying here." Seemingly embarrassed by this last statement, Bruce looked around the room and cleared his throat. "I had hoped that my youthful ward Dick Grayson would be here to greet you, but-" Bruce got no further. A young teenage boy in a yellow sweater and jeans rushed into the room.  
  
"Golly Bruce, I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up at school."  
  
"That's all right, Dick," Bruce replied. "I'd like you to meet our guests, Mr. John Steed, and Mrs. Emma Peel."  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir, ma'am," Dick eagerly replied, shaking hands. Mrs. Peel narrowed her eyes. That voice… "Nah," she thought to herself. "Just a coincidence."  
  
Alfred walked in. "I regret to inform you, madam, that we have run out of tea," Alfred began.  
  
"That's quite all right," Mrs. Peel answered. Alfred looked relieved, "Now sir, madam, if you will follow me to your rooms. Your luggage has already been taken there." Steed and Mrs. Peel followed Alfred up the stairs and out of sight.  
  
Dick and Bruce shot glances at each other.  
  
"Do you think they know," Bruce asked  
  
"I don't know. Did you see the way she looked at me?" Dick replied, obviously concerned.  
  
Bruce nodded. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to ask the beautiful Mrs. Peel to stay here. 


	4. A Secret Revealed

"Mrs. Peel, your room is even lovelier than mine," Steed commented as he walked in. Maybe it's a hint," Mrs. Peel replied laughingly "Ha, ha," Steed answered dryly. "Come on Steed. We don't want to be late for dinner," Mrs. Peel said soothingly. Steed muttered something under his breath about untimely jokes, than offered his arm to Mrs. Peel. She took it and Steed escorted her down the stairs to dinner.  
  
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Meanwhile, the Riddler had set up housekeeping in Robbie's Riddles R Us, an old abandoned warehouse on the lower east docks. The Riddler was dressed in his usual green and purple suit, his eyes flashing. "Ha, ha ha!" He laughed his trademark maniacal giggle. "The dynamic dunderheads will never figure these riddles out. Not in a million years!" One of the Molehill gang walked in as he was ranting. "But Boss," the guy said timidly, "the Dynamic Duo," Riddler looked angrily over, "I mean they have help. Those English people who followed you." "Ah ha ha!" The Riddler exclaimed gleefully, "but that's the brilliant part of my plan! Everyone knows what good detectives Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel are. They'll lead us straight to the true identities of Batman and Robin!" The Riddler's laugh echoed through the building.  
  
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Mrs. Peel yawned and rolled over The bright sunshine hit her squarely in the face. Instantly, she sat straight up. "I'm sorry, madam," Alfred said. He was standing at the window, holding the curtains in one hand. "I didn't mean to raise them so quickly, but it is time for breakfast." Mrs. Peel managed a smile and thanked Alfred for going to such trouble. He motioned to a tray on the bedside table. "There's your breakfast, Mrs. Peel. Once you are done, Batman and Robin are waiting for you and Mr. Steed downstairs," Alfred turned and left. Curious, Mrs. Peel lifted up the silver cover. Placed on the tray was a bowl of porridge, toast, bacon, eggs, kippers, freshly squeezed orange juice, tea, cream, and sugar. "He must think I eat like a horse," Mrs. Peel thought to herself. She shook her head and went to the closet to pick out her outfit for that day. Smiling, she chose a light green sundress that perfectly set off her figure. Hurriedly she prepared for the day.  
  
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True to Alfred's word, Batman and Robin waited outside in the bat- mobile for Steed and Mrs. Peel. A young, pimply-faced messenger boy rode up upon his bike. "Batman," the boy said, voice cracking. "A man told me to give this to you." He handed the envelope to Batman and quickly rode off. "Holy Riddle," Robin exclaimed, opening the envelope. Mrs. Peel and Steed walked out of stately Wayne Manor, just as Robin was reading the clues aloud. "What has a mouth but does not eat, a bed, but does not sleep, and is always running? Gosh Batman, I don't know," Robin stated disappointedly. "Think Robin," Batman replied. "Think very hard." "Holy East Gotham River, Batman!" "Exactly Robin," Batman exclaimed. "And if my instinct is correct, that's where we'll find the Riddler. To the bat-cave!" They turned to rush into stately Wayne Manor, but stopped, seeing Mrs. Peel and Steed in the doorway. "It's all right, Batman," Steed said sarcastically. "You don't have to include us in your crime fighting." "Steed," Mrs. Peel said sternly, "You'll have to forgive him, gentlemen," she turned to Batman and Robin. "He's always a bit grumpy before he gets his first glass of champagne in the morning." Batman and Robin exchanged looks at this. "No, Mrs. Peel," Batman replied haltingly, "Mr. Steed is right. We should have gotten you before opening the letter." Steed nodded "So, how do we get to the bat-cave," Steed asked. "We obviously need to get there to figure out where this "Riddler" is hiding." "Holy impossibilities, Batman," Robin muttered to Batman. "How do we get Steed and Mrs. Peel to the bat-cave without revealing the secret of our true identities?" "Luckily Robin," Batman replied with a hint of superiority, "I have been working on a secret formula for bat-zombie gas. It turns the person into a zombie who cannot remember where they have been, unless the antidote is given." "Gosh Batman," Robin replied worriedly, "Couldn't that be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands?" "Anything could be dangerous if it fell into the hands of someone as dangerous as the Riddler. But I only have a small quantity for emergency use." Batman replied, turning to Mrs. Peel and Steed. "If you two don't mind, we'll give you some bat knock-out gas, now." Mrs. Peel shook her head, and nudged Steed forward. "We don't mind at all, do we Steed?" Batman gave each a small spritz in the face. Instantly their eyes became dull and their breathing deep. "Come on," Batman ordered. "go up the steps and through the door. Turn to your left. There will be a door opening to my study." Mrs. Peel and Steed didn't respond. "Just follow me," Batman sighed. He walked into stately Wayne Manor and Mrs. Peel and Steed followed, with Robin bringing up the rear.  
  
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"Ha ha hee hee!" The Riddler giggled evilly. "by now, the Dynamic Dunderheads will surely have figured out my clues! They're on the way here! Come on, let's set up the trap."  
  
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Back at stately Wayne manor, Steed, Mrs. Peel, Batman, and Robin walked into the study. Mrs. Peel stretched and yawned. "Oh no, Robin," Batman exclaimed in a hushed whisper. "The bat- zombie gas is wearing off!" "Holy Big Trouble," Robin exclaimed. "How could that happen?" "It must be because they're British," Batman explained. "I developed this gas for Americans." "Of course!" "What are we doing in Mr. Wayne's study," Mrs. Peel interrupted. "Well," Batman began. However it was too late. Mrs. Peel had caught sight of the bat-phone. "What's that," she asked innocently Batman had to think fast. "That," he replied, "is a direct line to Commissioner Gordon's office. Bruce Wayne is a very influential person in charge of the Wayne Foundation, and he makes many decisions with which he needs a second opinion. Wayne Manor is also out in the middle of no where. He needs a direct connection to the police." "Oh." Mrs. Peel was satisfied. Batman stepped over. "We'll just have to give you a bit more bat- sleeping gas. It seems to have worn off." Batman gave it first to Steed than to Mrs. Peel. This time, although, Mrs. Peel held her breath. She imitated Steed's actions and watched as Batman tilted back the head of Shakespeare and twisted the knob hidden inside. The bookcase moved back to reveal two poles and a sign which stated, "Access to the bat-cave via the bat-poles." One pole was labeled Dick, the other Bruce. "Please, slide down these poles." Mrs. Peel and Steed slid down, and Batman and Robin quickly followed. Just in time, too. Just after Batman and Robin stepped off the bat-poles, Steed began to wake up. "Holy just in the nick of time, Batman," Robin exclaimed. "Indeed, Robin," Batman replied. "Mr. Steed, Mrs. Peel, we're going to use the bat-computer to figure out possible hiding places for the Riddler. Please feed the clues in Robin." The bat-computer whirled to life. It's lights began twinkling and it spit out three pieces of paper. Robin picked them up. "The Riddle Co." Still operating," Batman replied. "Hasn't been sold since Mr. Thomas bought it thirty years ago." "Riddles 4 Everyone." "That building was torn down by the Wayne Foundation three months ago." "Golly, that's right," Robin exclaimed. "They're building a community center there." "Correct Robin." "Steed," Mrs. Peel whispered urgently. "I need to talk to you. Soon." Steed nodded, concerned by the serious expression on Mrs. Peel's face. "What's the last one, Robin?" Batman's booming voice filled the bat- cave letting Steed and Mrs. Peel know that he knew they weren't paying attention. "Robbie's Riddles R US," Robin replied. "That has to be it," Batman exclaimed. "Quickly everyone, into the bat-mobile." They all piled in. "Sorry," Batman said, giving Mrs. Peel and Steed a shot of bat-sleeping gas. 


	5. A Madman's Plot

The bat-mobile raced down the highway. "Robin, give Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel a shot of bat-wake gas." Robin quickly followed his mentor's orders. "Be on your toes," Batman ordered. "The Riddler is one of the trickiest villains Robin and I have ever encountered."  
  
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The bat-mobile pulled up outside of Robbie's Riddles R US. The Riddle was looking down at them. "Hee hee hoo hoo." His fiendish cackle rang through the building. "They've walked right into my trap, the fools." His bright green eyes lit up. "You know what to do." Meanwhile, outside in the bat-mobile: "Everyone be alert. Who knows what villainous scheme the Riddler has in store for us." All nodded and stealthily crept inside. It was pitch black. Suddenly a spotlight illuminated the foursome. "Riddler, you fiend," Batman shouted. "Well, well," The Riddler replied gleefully. "Two bats in a trap. And my favorite English detectives," The Riddler spat out the last word as if it pained him. The spotlight snapped off, leaving the four in darkness, unable to see. "Quickly," The Riddler shouted to his minions. "Before they can see again." Almost immediately ten people surrounded Batman, Robin, Steed and Mrs. Peel. Unable to see their attackers, and outnumbered, the four quickly succumbed.  
  
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Mrs. Peel opened her eyes to see the Riddler's bright eyes staring gleefully down at her. "What do you want?" Her tone was more than a little cold. "Tsk, tsk. You know, you should be more polite. I thought all English people were polite." "Sorry. I'm always a little grumpy after being knocked unconscious." The Riddler smiled appreciatively. "You have a wonderful sense of humor Mrs. Peel. I'd like to stay, but I have to run." He walked away, chuckling to himself. Mrs. Peel heard a door clang shut. "Fools," she muttered to herself. They clearly had underestimated her abilities. She hadn't even been tied up. She walked over to the door and smiled. Luckily Robin had insisted that she take a set of bat-lock picks. She lifted up her skirt hem and felt for the strips of metal hidden within. Deftly she began picking the lock. "Click." The sound echoed through the hall. Mrs. Peel smiled. Better and better. Now to find Batman, Robin, and Steed.  
  
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The Riddler gleefully watched Mrs. Peel escape over closed circuit television. He laughed heartily. "They're playing right into my hands."  
  
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Mrs. Peel quickly found the cells holding Steed and Robin. They were both chained to the wall. Batman, however, was nowhere to be found. "Holy quick escape, Mrs. Peel," Robin exclaimed. "Thanks to you," Mrs. Peel replied, smiling. "If you hadn't given me those lock picks, I'd still be locked up." Mrs. Peel went to work on Robin's locks. "Where could Batman be," Steed asked. "Well, golly, just about anywhere," Robin replied looking distressed. "Not anywhere Robin. Here," Batman answered, appearing out of nowhere. "I was able to reach my utility belt and cut my chains with my bat-torch." He walked over and began picking Steed's locks. "Gosh, Batman," Robin said, rubbing his free wrists, "this feels too easy." "We can't ponder that now, Robin," Batman replied, standing up, "We have to escape." Batman led the way and quickly found the exit. The four jumped into the bat-mobile. "Sorry," Batman stated as Robin gave Steed and Mrs. Peel yet another dose of bat-knock out gas. The two promptly fell asleep.  
  
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Steed opened his eyes to see Mrs. Peel sitting on the sofa next to him, looking as groggy as he felt. Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward Dick Grayson were standing over them, their faces unreadable. "Batman and Robin just left," Bruce Wayne said, looking at Mrs. Peel. "They told us to give this to you to wake you up." Steed fumed inside. Who did this multimillionaire think he was, looking at Mrs. Peel like that? Mrs. Peel looked at Steed, and decided to make her move before Steed said or did something drastic. "Did Batman really say that," Mrs. Peel spoke up, "or did you?" Bruce and Dick exchanged glances. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Peel," Bruce replied calmly. 'I have no idea what you're talking about." "Really," Mrs. Peel did not sound convinced. "I'll show you." She got up and began walking towards Bruce's study. Steed followed. "Holy big trouble, Bruce!" "In little China," Bruce replied. "Why do you always say that," Dick questioned, clearly puzzled. "Never mind," Bruce answered. He and Dick quickly walked to the study. They found Mrs. Peel and Steed waiting for them. Mrs. Peel looked up. "Now," she began, "if you aren't Batman, why do you have a bat-phone on your desk?" "Batman and I are close friends," Bruce replied, cleverly outwitting her. "Hmm," Mrs. Peel replied, deep in thought. She had just made a huge fool of herself. But wait, Mrs. Peel smiled. There was one more secret in the study. "Sorry to have jumped to such an outrageous conclusion," Mrs. Peel apologized. "It's quite all right, Mrs. Peel," Bruce answered. "Many people have made the same mistake." "Oh?" "Yes, one villain kidnapped me, thinking I was Batman." "This is a nice bust," Mrs. Peel walked over to it. "Shakespeare?" "Yes," Bruce replied. "Please don't let her reveal it's secret," he thought to himself. "I've always had a fondness for the bard," he spoke aloud. Mrs. Peel smiled. Seemingly by accident, the head tilted backwards, and the switch inside was revealed. "Hmm," Mrs. Peel stated innocently. "I wonder what this is." Before either Bruce or Dick could react, Mrs. Peel turned the control. Almost immediately, the bookcase began to move. "Curse it," Bruce Wayne thought to himself. "Why didn't I remove those labels when I had the chance? We don't need them." The bookcase slid open the rest of the way. "Mrs. Peel, you were right." "You needn't sound so shocked Steed," Mrs. Peel countered. Suddenly a loud laughing was heard in the hall. The door to the study burst open, and there stood the Riddler surrounded by ten strong men. "Finally, I have figured out the secret identity of Batman," the Riddler shouted gleefully. "I have done what no other criminal was able to do. The Joker is going to be so mad." The Riddler leaped over to Mrs. Peel. "Thanks so much for your help, I appreciate it." Seeing her confusion, he added, "Look on your zipper pull, Mrs. Peel." She quickly found the small microphone and tracking device attached. "You were such a good girl," The Riddler chortled, patting Mrs. Peel on the head. She grabbed his arm and threw him against the wall. The fight was initiated. "Don't let them get their utility belts, boys," The Riddler shouted above the melee. "They're helpless without them!" Immediately Bruce and Dick were surrounded. Steed and Mrs. Peel raced to the rescue. "Ignore them, they don't matter," the Riddler shouted desperately. Simultaneously, Steed and Mrs. Peel were pushed down the bat-poles. Mrs. Peel on Dick's pole, Steed on Bruce's. Bruce and Dick were outnumbered and knocked unconscious. Quickly the duo were picked up and carried out the front door. The Riddler quietly closed the door behind him, revelaing Alfred, unconscious behind. He slipped to the floor. Meanwhile, Steed had accidentally pushed the bat-automatic change lever on the way down the poles. He and Mrs. Peel emerged dressed as Batman and Robin. "How did that happen," Steed demanded. "I've no idea. It defies the laws of physics," Mrs. Peel replied, wrapping her arms around herself. 'This outfit sure isn't warm. "I bet not," Steed replied, looking appreciatively at Mrs. Peel's new outfit. Mrs. Peel covered a smile as she looked at Steed. "What is it," Steed questioned. "You need to lose some weight, Steed," Mrs. Peel replied, "Especially around the middle." Indeed, Steed who always looked so handsome in his customary suit and bowler hat, did not look so well in the tight fitting bat-suit. Steed looked hurt. Just then, Alfred rushed into the bat-cave.  
  
"Sir, I regret to inform you that Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel have been kidnapped. "Actually, Alfred, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson have been kidnapped." Alfred did a double take. "Mr. Steed," he questioned. "Correct," Steed smiled. "We have to go rescue them." "Wait a minute, sir, madam. Please put these on." He handed Mrs. Peel a wig, and gave each of them a small round flesh colored object. "Press those to our throats," Alfred explained. "There's an adhesive on the back." Both complied. "Alfred, what are these," Steed questioned, in Batman's voice. "I think you now know, sir," Alfred replied. "These are voice modifiers. They change your voice to that of Batman's and Mrs. Peel's voice to that of Robin's. I must say the change is stunning." Privately Steed had to agree. Mrs. Peel now looked exactly like Robin. "Where could they be," Steed questioned. "They wouldn't dare go back to their old hide-out." "Maybe that's what they want us to think," Mrs. Peel interrupted. "You mean they think that we think that they would never go back there?" "Precisely. Where else would they go?" "You do have a point. To the bat-mobile!" "Remember sir," Alfred cried out, "here, they drive on the right side of the road." Steed smiled and nodded. The bat-mobile raced out of the bat-cave, and towards Robbie's Riddles R US.  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Did you know that Adam West turned down the opportunity to play James Bond in 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service'? Guess who else was in this Bond picture..Diana Rigg. 


	6. Batman's Death??

At Robbie's Riddles R US, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson were in peril. Both were tied to electric chairs. "Now Batman," the Riddler chuckled, "Every time you get a riddle wrong, you get a shock of 500,000 volts. That's enough to kill even a bat." "There must be some mistake, Riddler," Bruce interjected coolly. "I'm not Batman." The Riddler merely smiled and uttered his first Riddler. "Dreaming of riddles on a wall, and dreaming often, bat, I dreamed that if I dreamed of all, how many would appear?" "Dreaming often, of ten. Ten, Riddler!" Bruce exclaimed with a shout of joy. "That must mean we'll be asked ten riddles," he muttered to Dick. "Correct, bat-brain," the Riddler shouted gleefully.  
  
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The Batmobile raced down the road. "Hurry St-I mean Batman," Mrs. Peel shouted. "We're running out of time!"  
  
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"Death," Dick Grayson replied to the ninth riddle. "That was too easy," the Riddler muttered. He laughed. "One last riddle, Mr. Wayne. What do the poor have, the rich want, and if you eat it, you'll die?" Bruce and Dick looked helplessly at each other. Neither could figure this riddle out. "Tick, tock, tick, tock," the Riddler chimed. "Well Dick, I guess this is," "The answer is nothing," Steed interrupted. "Which is what you'll be getting away with." He and Mrs. Peel jumped into the room. "Batman," the Riddler whispered. "But it cant be." "I tried to tell you, Riddler," Bruce interrupted. "We have bat- poles in my study because Batman is a dear friend of mine. We visit each other all he time." The Riddler gnashed his teeth. "Get them," he cried. The Molehill Gang burst out from behind boxes. Immediately the fighting began. Riddler charged Mrs. Peel, grabbing her hair. Before she could react, the wig came off. Her auburn hair came tumbling down upon her shoulders. The Riddler stopped dead in his tracks. "Robin is a girl?" "That's right," Mrs. Peel replied, judo chopping him. The Molehill Gang rushed to the Riddler's rescue and knocked Mrs. Peel out with a blow to the back of her head. Seeing this, Steed angrily pulled a small object out of the bat-utility belt. It was a bat gas pellet. Unfortunately, his anger caused him to clutch the pellet too hard, and crush it. He collapsed, coughing, amid a cloud of smoke. The Riddler was ecstatic. "Quickly, tie them up." Bruce and Dick exchanged worried glances. "Holy," Dick began. "Dick," Bruce interjected. "Now is neither the time nor the place." "Sorry."  
  
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR QUIXOTIC QUARTET?  
  
WILL BRUCE AND DICK MEET A SHOCKING END?  
  
WILL BATMAN AND ROBIN'S IDENTITY BE REVEALED?  
  
FOR THE ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE, TUNE IN TOMORROW  
  
SAME BAT-TIME  
  
SAME BAT-CHANNEL!  
  
"Will you please shut up," Bruce requested.  
  
SORRY  
  
"Thank you." He sighed and leaned against the back of the electric chair, closing his eyes. 


	7. Did Batman survive?

On the last episode, we saw:  
  
Visitors from England.  
  
Staying at Wayne Manor?  
  
Is Batman's secret revealed?  
  
You bet.  
  
And the Riddler knows, too?  
  
A kidnapping.  
  
A rescue attempt. Success?  
  
Failure.  
  
For you, hours have passed. For our heroes, mere seconds.  
  
The Riddler cackled evilly. Place these two intruders on the conveyor belt." He turned to Bruce. "You'll get to watch as I transform your friends into pages for a Riddle Book." He laughed again. "That's not at all funny, Riddler," Bruce said stiffly. "Tsk, tsk, Batman. You have no sense of humour. I bet Mrs. Peel here would find it funny." "I don't bet." Mrs. Peel had woken up. "Of course you don't, pretty lady," the Riddler said softly, staring down at her. He smiled. "this will be my greatest criminal coup ever. Revealing Batman's and Robin's true identities to the world and ending their career as secret ace crime fighters." Mrs. Peel looked at Steed. He nodded, instantly guessing her plan. "Why is that exactly? I never understood." She smiled at him, massaging his ego. The Riddler smiled, and eased his fram down so that his mouth was right next to her ear. "You see, now that I know that Batman is Bruce Wayne, I can go after anyone he's close to at the time, and use it against him." The Riddler droned on and on, and while he was distracted, Bruce managed to free his hand from the leather strap binding it to the electric chair. He then freed himself and Dick, and noticed that Steed had freed himself as well. The henchmen hadn't noticed this at all. They were all listening, entranced, to the Riddler. "Your criminal career is over, Riddler!" Bruce shouted as the Riddler looked up. "Get them boys! Get them, or it's curtains!" He pushed the henchmen towards Bruce, Dick, and Steed. Bruce punched one in the face.  
  
POW!  
  
Steed back-handed another  
  
WHAP!  
  
Robin punched a third.  
  
KAZOW!  
  
Two men raced up to Robin, each pinning an arm behind his back. Robin struggled valiantly, but it was no use. He was no match for them. They lifted him up, and carried him through the side door, before he could yell for help. Another henchman hoisted Mrs. Peel over his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes, and following Riddler, ran through the same door. Meanwhile, the fight was winding down.  
  
WHAM!  
  
Steed slammed the last man into the wall, rendering him unconscious. "Dick!?" Bruce shouted, looking around. "Mrs. Peel!?!?" The room was empty, except for a half-dozen or so unconscious thugs, Bruce, and Steed. Steed looked utterly stricken. "They've taken Mrs. Peel," he whispered. "What shall we do now?" "Go to the bat-cave," Bruce answered. "There's a homing device located in all of Robin's utility belts. If we're lucky, Mrs. Peel has managed to find it, and turn it on." "And if we're not lucky," Steed angrily questioned. "Then we wait for the Riddler to contact us. He always does. You'll have to drive the bat-mobile, Mr. Steed." Steed nodded, sighed and began walking to the bat-mobile. "I'll get the Riddler if it's the last thing I do," Steed thought to himself. "The Riddler will pay for this," Bruce thought to himself, before following Steed out the door. 


	8. A Confounding Conundrum

Unfortunately, Mrs. Peel does not know of the bat-tracking device located in Robin's utility belt. Nor would it have been much use if she did. For, as soon as the Riddler was able, he removed it. Now Dick and Mrs. Peel are strapped to tables in the Riddler's underground hide-out, awaiting their fate. The Riddler joyfully bounced into the small room. "Hellow, my helpless hostages. Are you ready to be bat-bait?" He cheerfully pulled out a spray bottle of his Riddler Knock-out gas, and sprayed each with a small amount. "All right, boys," he crowed. "Put plan 131-B into action."  
  
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Bruce was doing all he could in the bat-vace and Steed could see that he didn't need his help, so he turned on the telly, hoping that the Riddler might make an appearance. Steed's wish was granted. Not five minutes after he had turned the set on, the Riddler's face, appeared on the screen. "Here's a riddle to help you find your compatriots, Bat-blunder. What gets bigger, the more you take away?" Steed quickly turned the set off, and rushed down to the bat-cave, via the service elevator which Alfred had just shown him. Bruce was more than a little annoyed when Steed interrupted him, but once he'd heard the riddle, as well as Steed's answer to it, he became more enthusiastic. "A hole.Of course! The old hideout of the River Rats. It's literally a hole in the wall. That's the only possible meaning of the clue." Steed was a little skeptical about 'the only possible meaning' comment, but he figured Bruce had had more experience in dealing with the 'fiend' as Bruce put it. "You know, it could be a trap," Steed calmly suggested. "You could be right," Bruce replied, a little annoyed that he hadn't thought of that first. "Let's prepare ourselves and rush to the Riddler's hideout.Robin." Steed shook his head, emphatically. "Oh, no. I'm not wearing that ridiculous costume! I looked bad enough in yours!" Minutes later Batman, and a grumpy 'Robin' were headed to the hideout.  
  
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"Batman has had time enough to work out the clue," Riddler shouted. 


	9. A New Plot?

The bat-mobile raced through the streets. "I don't see why I had to wear these," Steed said, trying to pull down the skimpy kelly-green panties that were a mainstay of Robin's outfit. "Because, we need to convince the citizens of Gotham City that Richard Grayson is not Robin." Steed stared at Batman. "Do you really think that they won't be able to see the differences between me and the actual Robin?" Bruce looked confused. "Why wouldn't it work? Commissioner Gordon has thought that Alfred was Batman. The police have thought that I was Alfred, and Alfred was Batman. The police have also thought that a criminal mastermind known as the Black Widow was Robin, and that a dummy was me." Steed simply shook his head.  
  
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The bat-mobile came to a stop outside a large drainage pipe. Steed and Batman leaped out and walked into the pipe, shining their special bat- beams into the darkness ahead of them. Suddenly their eyes focused on two shapes, not twenty feet in front of them. Steed and Batman eyed each other, before racing forward. The two shapes were dummies. Dressed to look like Dick and Mrs. Peel. "They're dummies," Steed exclaimed. "Dressed to look like Dick and Mrs. Peel," Bruce agreed. "What is," he fingered a button, then broke off as the Riddler's laughter filled the tunnel. "This is a recording, you Caped Cretin, you," the tape began. Bruce looked over at Steed, who was trying to hide a smile, barely succeeding. The duo listened to the riddle in silence. When the tape was over, Batman rose. "Let's go to the bat-cave, and work this riddle out," he said. Steed followed him out of the pipe, mimicking his every move, perfectly.  
  
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"Hee hee ha ha," the Riddler chortled. "They've had time to find my tape recorder, and listen to my riddle. They must be back at the bat-cave, by now, deciphering it." He walked over to Mrs. Peel and gently pulled the bat-voice modifier from her throat. He snickered before placing the device on his neck and picking up the phone stationed nearby. Then the Riddler speedily dialed Commissioner Gordon's office in City Hall. "Hello?" "Commissioner Gordon," The Riddler asked, in Robin's voice. "Robin! How are you? Where are you," the Commissioner asked worriedly. "I can't really say. I need you to connect me to the hot line." "Of course. Right away." The Commissioner pressed a button on the telephone. "Bonnie," he waited for a response, "I need you to connect line one to the hotline.thanks."  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Deep underground in the fabulous bat-cave, Batman and Steed were working hard at deciphering the Riddler's latest conundrum. Suddenly the incessant beeping of the bat-phone filled the cave. Batman lunged for it. "Robin?" "Batman," the Riddler shouted. "Robin, old chum! Where are you? Are you all right? How's Mrs. Peel?" "I'm down at the waterfront. I don't know how I got here. I just woke up on one of the piers. I'm fine. But I haven't seen Mrs. Peel since we were captured." Batman sighed, "I'll come and get you. Where exactly are you?" "At the 54th pier. I'll be waiting." Batman hung up. But not before hearing a high pitched giggle at the other end. "Strange," he thought, "I've never heard Robin giggle before." 


	10. Rescued

The bat-mobile screeched to a halt at the Gotham waterfront. As Batman opened the door, he saw Dick, stretched out on the ground, with his back to him. "Hang in there, citizen," Batman yelled, before running to the motionless form, and turning Dick over. Holly horrors! Not Dick, but one of Riddler's henchmen! "Surprise," the henchman whispered before spraying Batman with something. Batman collapsed onto the ground.  
  
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The Riddler, as well as Mrs. Peel and Dick were watching this exchanged on a closed circuit television. The Riddler jumped up laughing, "It's too delicious! Batman is doomed!" "You fiend," Dick spat. "What devilish plot are you planning this time?" " A plot to end all plots," the Riddler said in hushed tones, " the humiliation and death of Batman." The door burst open and two henchmen walked in, struggling with the weight of an unconscious Batman. "Batman," Dick shouted, struggling against his bonds, "You devil!" "Tut, tut, wonder midget. It doesn't do to call your captor such names." The Riddler looked at the two henchmen, who were awaiting instruction. "Just drop him there." As they complied, one asked, "Gee boss, are you sure that's all? We should tie him up or something. He's dangerous." "He's unconscious," the Riddler replied. "He's Batman," the thug responded. "Exactly," Batman cut in, before throwing a smoke bomb from his utility belt onto the floor. "Curses," the Riddler shouted, once the smoke had dissipated. "Why can't you ever be defeated?" He pushed the two thugs toward Batman, who had managed to cut through both Dick's and Mrs. Peel's bonds.  
  
OUCH!  
  
Mrs. Peel judo chopped one of the henchmen in the neck.  
  
BAM!  
  
Dick punched another thug, knocking him out cold.  
  
THWOP!  
  
Batman punched the Riddler, sending him flying.  
  
CRASH!  
  
Mrs. Peel threw the first thug into the wall.  
  
"Good work," Batman congratulated Dick and Mrs. Peel. "Batman," Dick shouted. 'The Riddler! He's getting away." The Riddler was sneaking out the door. He froze. "I have some tricks of my own, bat-brains," he hissed, before tossing something on the floor, from which a bright flash issued, blinding the trio. When their eyes cleared, the Riddler, and his henchmen were gone. "Gosh Batman," Dick said, 'Why didn't Riddler's spray affect you like it did Mrs. Peel and me?" "It's quite simple, Dick. I knew when the Riddler called me that he was planning a trap, so I took a bat-universal antidote pill before coming here." "Holy premonition," Mrs. Peel shouted. Batman and Dick both turned and stared. "Sorry," she apologized. "It's the suit." Batman hid a smile. "It was no premonition, Mrs. Peel. I knew something was amiss when 'Robin' laughed exactly like the Riddler on the phone. That's how I knew it was a trap. Robin would never laugh in such a serious situation, nor would he laugh like that." 'Let's get back to the bat-cave," Mrs. Peel said. "Steed's probably getting worried.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Alfred came out of the service elevator and walked towards Mrs. Peel. Hung over his arm was one of her normal outfits from the closet in her room. "Here, Mrs. Peel," he said, holding out the catsuit. "I trust you would like to remove that outfit." Mrs. Peel smiled and looked up at Alfred, opening her mouth to ask where the changing room was. "Right over there, madam," he said, pointing. As she walked over to the changing room, MRs. Peel couldn't help but look at Steed, now dressed in his normal attire. "What," Steed demanded. "Sorry," MRs. Peel replied, smiling, "I was picturing you in the Robin suit. I wish I'd gotten a picture." She walked into the changing room, leaving a very red Steed to mentally curse Bruce once more. Dick, now dressed in his Robin costume, walked over to the bat- computer. "Gosh Batman," he began, "What could be the Riddler's next move?" "He'll try to expose us, Robin," Batman said wearily. "Heavens knows he probably has enough evidence to prove the fact that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Even if we knew where and when he was going to pull off this dastardly deed, we couldn't stop him. Batman and Robin will have to retire." "If only there was some way in which Batman, Robin, Bruce Wayne, and Dick Grayson could be in the same room at the same time," Dick said. Mrs. Peel walked back into the main cave, still in her Robin suit, but this time with her hair under a wig and a bat-voice modifier on her throat. "But there is a way.Dick." Batman and Robin turned around. She smiled. 'I couldn't help hearing. Alfred and I will go as Batman and Robin. Steed can be himself, to dispel Riddler's accusation that he's playing Batman." "Brilliant, Mrs. Peel," Batman complimented her. "I'll go tell Alfred. Come on Dick. Let's go get ready." The duo rushed to the bat- poles and Batman pressed the button that made Robin and him race up the passageway. 


	11. A Happy Ending?

Bruce, Dick, and Steed sat in the Wayne living room, monitoring the television for a sign of the Riddler. Suddenly. "This is Marla Higgins, from Channel 9. Commissioner Gordon has called an emergency press conference that should be starting any minute now. Here he is." However, the next person who walked into the room was not Commissioner Gordon, but the Riddler. Gasps of shock arose from the onlooksers. Back at Stately Wayne Manor, Bruce and Dick looked at each other, before leaping into action. Dick turned off the television set, while Bruce called Alfred and Mrs. Peel on the bat-walkie-talkie. "It's the Riddler. We'll meet you at city hall in fifteen minutes."  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
TheRiddler chuckled. "I asked Commissioner Gordon to call this little press conference. I know who Batman is." Gasps of shock arose from the crowd."  
  
**************************************************************************** ********** The bat-mobile halted to a stop outside City Hall, just behind Steed's rental car. "They must already be inside," Mrs. Peel said. "Indeed," Alfred replied, following her up the steps.  
  
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"And Richard Grayson is Robin, the Boy Wonder," the Riddler finished, seconds before the doors burst open, revealing Batman and Robin. "It's too late, bat-blunders, they already know that you're really Bruce Wayne and Richard Grayson." "Really. I had no idea I was Batman," Bruce stepped forward from the crowd, amid laughter. "How about you, Dick?" "I think I'd rather be a real superhero, like Superman or the Flash. Why settle for sidekick?" The Riddler grew increasingly frantic. "No," he shouted. "Don't you see?! It's a hoax! John Steed, the English official visiting Gotham is Batman!" Steed also stepped out of the crowd. "Were you referring to me," he questioned. "Or is there another John Steed of whom I am not aware?" The Riddler looked back and forth between Batman and Steed. "It can't be," he whispered. Then he grew more confident. "Where's your partner, MRs. Emma Peel?" Steed smiled. "Mrs. Peel is at Wayne Manor, resting from her harrowing experience yesterday, when you kidnapped her. Thank you for your concern." The Riddler was flabbergasted. "All right min," Chief O'Hara began in his thick Irish brogue, which hadn't disappeared in all the years he had lived in Gotham City, "Git the trouble-maker out of here, back to where he belongs." The Riddler struggled in the grip of the two youthful policemen. "I'll get you yet," he yelled, eyes blazing. "I'll prove that Bruce Wayne is Batman if it's the last thing I do!" "Get him out of here,' Commissioner Gordon ordered, before turning to Bruce, Dick, and Steed. "Sorry about that Bruce," the Commissioner apologized. "It's quite all right," Bruce smiled, shaking Commissioner Gordon's hand, before turning to Dick and Steed, "Well, it's almost time for Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel to leave." The Commissioner turned to talk to Batman and Robin, but they had disappeared into thin air.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Bruce looked down into Mrs. Peel's soft brown eyes. "Are you sure you can't be persuaded to stay a little while longer?" "Sorry," Mrs. Peel glanced over at Steed, sitting sullenly in the rental car. "Steed gets a little cantankerous when he's away too long from his car and champagne." Bruce nodded disappointedly, and began escorting her back to the car. Suddenly, Mrs. Peel had a brilliant idea. She 'tripped' and reached from Bruce. He reached down and supported her by the waist. Steed bristled. Mrs. Peel smiled and looked up at Bruce. "I'm so sorry," she apologized. "It's my pleasure," Bruce replied. "I don't usually fall for multi-millionaire playboys," she laughed before walking the remaining distance to the door of the car. Bruce watched sadly as the car pulled away. Mrs. Peel looked sideways at Steed biting back a grin. "Don't tell me that was an accident," Steed warned. "Don't tell you what was an accident," Mrs. Peel questioned. "The next thing you'll be saying is that you saw a spot of greasy make-up on his collar." Mrs. Peel smiled and laughed before leaning her head on Steed's shoulder. He shifted his weight to wrap his arm protectively around her.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Back at Stately Wayne Manor, Bruce turned back to the house and sighed dejectedly. What would he do now that Mrs. Peel was gone? He smiled. Dick's education would be improved with a visit to Europe.  
  
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Dick looked out of his bedroom window, and down at Bruce. A moment earlier, Bruce had looked so distraught. Now he looked ecstatic. What was he. "Oh, no," Dick grimaced. "Here comes a trip to England.  
  
  
  
THE END.  
  
For Now 


End file.
